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Silly-Stripy-Socks

February 17th 2009 03:25
OK, what is concerning around the streets of Melbourne is the amount of girls walking around in knee-high length socks. This is fine seeming it was once a part of my own school uniform – but there is a difference – my socks were one colour. These crazy kids are walking around in multi-coloured striped socks – with sneakers to boot.

So I am the biggest fan of funky dress-ups – but not randomly displayed toes warmers. They are quite stark and attract attention – which is clearly what these lassies are after. They do look hideous when teamed up with shorts and look like something out of the classic 80’s tv show, “Punky Brewster”.


It is quite concerning that people actually consider these suitable items to wear under shorts. Most people opt for the cleverly designed ankle sock or even thongs on a hot summers day. Wearing knee length socks really defeats the purpose of wearing shorts - you may as well have worn ¾ length pants. Really – the same amount of flesh is exposed and you don’t look like such a goose.

The only time these babies are allowed is if you are a football player or a school girl and it is deemed required as it is part of a uniform. Other than that people really have no excuse to be trampling around in the bushes and stepping over garden gnomes in scary looking socks. Other times where one could prance around in hot looking knee high socks or even stockings is if they were a simple black and you snuck into them under a high waited skirt and heels. This looks classy girls – not florescent pieces of material wrapped around your calves....

Simple as that really... If you want to make a statement – then go for it but maybe save it for the weekend when you are planning to have a few too many wines or discover it is a fancy dress party and you would look silly if you were not dressed up.

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The Summer and Boot Combo!

January 29th 2009 10:47

What is going on in the world when you see chicks walking around in stunning, knee high boots on a 42 degree day in Melbourne all while sporting a pretty little frock. It just should not be happening! Massive camel colour hooves should be reserved for those wintery, stormy days which require an undoubtedly high amount of protection from the elements. Clearly they do not sit well with a barely- there dress, which flows in the wind and has spaghetti straps as its only means of supporting the material that wraps around any particular chick.

With frocks like these, most kids should go for a pretty little sandal, thongs or even some strappy things. It defeats the purpose of walking around in a dress with half of your legs covered. If you were intending to go around fully clothed, it may have been a wiser idea to throw on a pair of trousers or jeans instead as opposed to zipping up your knee-highs that should have been packed away a good 1 month ago.

Just quietly, the whole idea of that particular outfit does indeed look a little tacky. It is almost as if you had no other shoes to wear so you thought you could get away with an awesome pair of boots on a 42 degree day. Unfortunately it does not work like that. As the fasharazzi world has demonstrated – fashion is a killer. Whether or not you like or not like what is on offer, most of the time a lot of women just suck it up and go with the flow. Everyone wants to keep up with the Jones’ and if that means saving your pennies and dimes for a pair of pretty awesome thongs or a stunning pair of gladiator sandals - then so be it. It saves your poor little toes melting during an extreme heatwave...You always need your feet!
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The Heeled-Thong

January 8th 2009 11:13
Ok so what I can not really understand is the mentality of an individual when they have a confliction between evening thoughts and thong visions. This all sounds a bit complex now but it will all be explained quite easily in a couple of moments...

As I have been a mall rat lately I have noticed a lot of chicks like to team up a pair of jeans and thongs which have heels on them...They are in no way fancy enough to wear out to a ball yet are way too dressy to slip into for the beach. They are not a sling back but simply a daggy slip-on which in some cases is littered with jewels or various other hideous patterns...

I understand it gets warm during the day however wearing oddly decorated footwear is not the ideal way to cool down. In many cases the jeans are ripped at the bottom which causes a train of white stitching to drag behind the heel of one’s foot or better still get caught in the stiletto heel of one’s thong.

It is safe to say that the alternative option can be just as creative, more comfortable and not be classified as a dangerous occupational, health and safety issue. There is an abundant range of fancy flats going around every single shoe store in Melbourne which either wrap around the ankle, are slip-on’s or buckle up. They are hot to trot, easy to wear, impossible to trip over and go with absolutely anything one wants to wear on any given day.

Once you crack the soles of your feet into a pair of any sandals splashed across the front page of any shoe store catalogue you will never turn back and will be eternally grateful you do not need to walk around department stores in heels when your toes can be getting just as much air in a flat, comfy pair of pretty shoes at a bargain price.
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Oh no to the Flur-Oh

December 23rd 2008 01:29
Ok - so I am pretty sure that fluro leggings were a hit in the 80’s but today I would classify them as more like – fancy dress attire. I could not understand the mentality of some people while walking down Swanston Street in Melbourne the other day.

Some clueless individual was looking very pretty in a little denim mini and cute little top which she had teamed with a pair of plain havaianas. This was completely and utterly fine until I looked at her knees for some obscure reason only to discover the hideous leg attire that was shining right before my eyes.

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Sock-it-up

November 25th 2008 02:57
What is up with the whole ‘flashdance’ image making its appearance again? I was down in Torquay the other weekend and spotted some odd fashion sense. It was sort of like ‘sporty spice’ / a ‘flashdance’ chick had morphed into one odd looking lassie.

While walking the streets of the serene town - she was spotted. There, the young girl was sporting just a plain pair of black leggings, teamed with a t-shirt, jacket and sneakers. This was all cool – apart from the fact that she was wearing a pair of slightly longer socks than usual and had tucked her leggings into them. The socks were stretched quite high above her ankles – not knee length but they were clearly not inconspicuous either.

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Padding of the Shoulder

November 25th 2008 01:51
Have you ever wondered what crossed the minds of those designers 20 years ago with their wacky designs? I realise many have come back to haunt us and have had their time to shine on multiple occasions, but can the women of today ever embrace these various items like they were once loved back in the day?

I doubt this will ever be the case. The specific example that must be brought up is the love for ‘shoulder pads’... Ok so what was the intention here? Making women look more broad across the shoulders to resemble a man? I have no idea if this is even a just explanation but they should definitely not exist today! On numerous occasions I have seen many young chicks walking down the street with some awesome purchases from ‘Savers’, yet they fail to do one simple thing – adapt the clothing to this era.

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Oh the Cargo

November 18th 2008 06:41

So... I was almost certain that the pants with the 17 massive pockets had their time to shine and were now waiting to be recycled as fashion in the next 30 years – clearly I was wrong. Either I woke up 30 years in the future or people still have the love for their cozy pants and refuse to stash them away...I am waffling on about the beloved “cargo pant” that hit the scene in the 90’s and where everybody had to have a pair regardless of age or gender.

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Get your gear off

November 17th 2008 05:05
Is it necessary for the world to see the “squishing” effect of another individuals butt cheeks? ... I think the answer to that is no – and so it should be! While getting off the train the other day at Melbourne Central, my poor little eyes were exposed to toxic images. I was in no rush at all and so I stood to the left of the escalator while all those kids in a hurry ran up the right side, brushing past me with 20 kilo handbags on their way up. After observing my fellow commuters I turned to my right and saw an explicit site. A young lady had gotten off the same train as me and decided to be health conscious and walk up the escalator....

The difference between her and I was that she had clearly forgotten to pull her light wash, skinny leg jeans up over her butt cheeks. There it was...the plumbers crack had emerged. It looked so tacky and was definitely uncalled for seeming that it could have easily been avoided. Another young lady, as did I, felt uncomfortable looking forward as it was so obvious that we were feeling a tad embarrassed for the young culprit. Clearly when she got up from her seat, a good idea would have been to have inconspicuously pulled up her pants just enough to cover the cheeks. It is just an idea to save one the embarrassment of hiking up escalators or prancing around any public space with r-rated body parts involuntarily flashing themselves to the world.

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Tired Toes

October 30th 2008 11:37
If you are going to ‘talk the talk’ then you must be able to ‘walk the walk’...or so the saying goes – or I could have just made that up...The other night I was at Crown Casino – Melbourne’s massive entertainment complex, where I had an epiphany...

I discovered people were not trained in the art of walking...The amount of girls I saw trotting along not being able to walk in their shoes was hilarious...I noticed so many ‘un-co’ chicks to the point where I was actually predicting who was capable of supporting their ankles on a 15 cm stiletto heel and who was not...

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Spray it up

October 21st 2008 12:12
So…as you are walking down that ultra-chic shopping precinct in Melbourne you smell a distinctive odour – what could it be you wonder? … One guess… fake tan? What is going on in the world? You get to Monday morning and everything that creeps its way into your personal space and smelling zone has a tinge of ‘can’ odours, for example the train, classrooms, Melbourne Central and clothing stores…

So fake tan, spray on tan, creams, lotions and potions all work in wonderful ways to ensure you have a great summer glow all year around without exposing oneself to the harmful UV rays that exists once you step out that door without slip, slop and slapping. However, despite having its many perks, it also has its draw backs which can be a tad on the nose…

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