Bianca 1Spray it up
October 21st 2008 12:12
So…as you are walking down that ultra-chic shopping precinct in Melbourne you smell a distinctive odour – what could it be you wonder? … One guess… fake tan? What is going on in the world? You get to Monday morning and everything that creeps its way into your personal space and smelling zone has a tinge of ‘can’ odours, for example the train, classrooms, Melbourne Central and clothing stores…
So fake tan, spray on tan, creams, lotions and potions all work in wonderful ways to ensure you have a great summer glow all year around without exposing oneself to the harmful UV rays that exists once you step out that door without slip, slop and slapping. However, despite having its many perks, it also has its draw backs which can be a tad on the nose…
Firstly, if you are going to fake tan, as you are wearing a stunning garment and want to complete the outfit, make sure you tan every bit of flesh that is exposed to the world. It looks awfully weird having white ankles yet brown calves and a random white arm yet sporting a short backless number. Lindsay Lohan was recently spotted all tanned up except forgot to tan her feet so once she wore open-toed shoes she resembled a smurf. (Except substitute the brown for blue). Anyway…moving right along… then you have the colour factor… Turning orange, resembling an amber traffic light or looking like a yummy mandarin is not the ideal colour you want to be. Aim for a deep rich chocolate brown colour. Tans in cans, tins and tubes have even done the hard work for you so if you have pale skin make sure you study the labels. They are a massive help and can ensure your awesome colour will work out, for example you get the option of matching your skin tone to a particular brand of tanning lotion which suits your needs. Spilling tan on your frock is bad – purely shocking, disgraceful and horrendous. Seeing a chick walking around at my ball the other week with a patch of light brown made me wonder… – oh my what has she done? – Then however, it occurred to me that due to her carelessness she had managed to splash a lovely addition on to her dress. Don’t ask me how – one would have thought you would apply for tan before the frock but who knows in today’s day and age….Along with her pretty brown legs she had not-so-discretely added an unwanted additional blob of colour on her gown which unfortunately did not really complement the dress (seeming it was a lovely shade of green)…
Then you have the smelly factor and the patchy issues…You can not be all glammed up and looking hot to trot with a waft of fake-ness surrounding you… Perhaps try to engage in a quick rinse to rid your-self of the tacky “after-smell” of the tanning gig and go for some sweet smelling perfume. (Works a treat)… It also helps if you have applied the tanning potions correctly or gotten some one else to give you a hand. It looks shocking when other people can actually notice you have attempted to tan yourself in 15 minutes when you have uneven patches of random colour spotted all over your back – ewww…It looks utterly disturbing and horrible and it is not a pretty picture. Better still - hit the salon and treat yourself to a professional tan as this will ensure that your hot colour will do justice to your ultra-cool dress or skirt so you feel like a million bucks and look like a pretty princess…
Remember kids, an overdose of tanning substances makes you resemble a parquetry floor with your random shades of brown all over the place or the ‘Stabilo’ fluorescent orange highlighter analogy may be applied if it appears that you may have gone a little bit crazy and entered the orange-tanning-land …
So fake tan, spray on tan, creams, lotions and potions all work in wonderful ways to ensure you have a great summer glow all year around without exposing oneself to the harmful UV rays that exists once you step out that door without slip, slop and slapping. However, despite having its many perks, it also has its draw backs which can be a tad on the nose…
Firstly, if you are going to fake tan, as you are wearing a stunning garment and want to complete the outfit, make sure you tan every bit of flesh that is exposed to the world. It looks awfully weird having white ankles yet brown calves and a random white arm yet sporting a short backless number. Lindsay Lohan was recently spotted all tanned up except forgot to tan her feet so once she wore open-toed shoes she resembled a smurf. (Except substitute the brown for blue). Anyway…moving right along… then you have the colour factor… Turning orange, resembling an amber traffic light or looking like a yummy mandarin is not the ideal colour you want to be. Aim for a deep rich chocolate brown colour. Tans in cans, tins and tubes have even done the hard work for you so if you have pale skin make sure you study the labels. They are a massive help and can ensure your awesome colour will work out, for example you get the option of matching your skin tone to a particular brand of tanning lotion which suits your needs. Spilling tan on your frock is bad – purely shocking, disgraceful and horrendous. Seeing a chick walking around at my ball the other week with a patch of light brown made me wonder… – oh my what has she done? – Then however, it occurred to me that due to her carelessness she had managed to splash a lovely addition on to her dress. Don’t ask me how – one would have thought you would apply for tan before the frock but who knows in today’s day and age….Along with her pretty brown legs she had not-so-discretely added an unwanted additional blob of colour on her gown which unfortunately did not really complement the dress (seeming it was a lovely shade of green)…
Then you have the smelly factor and the patchy issues…You can not be all glammed up and looking hot to trot with a waft of fake-ness surrounding you… Perhaps try to engage in a quick rinse to rid your-self of the tacky “after-smell” of the tanning gig and go for some sweet smelling perfume. (Works a treat)… It also helps if you have applied the tanning potions correctly or gotten some one else to give you a hand. It looks shocking when other people can actually notice you have attempted to tan yourself in 15 minutes when you have uneven patches of random colour spotted all over your back – ewww…It looks utterly disturbing and horrible and it is not a pretty picture. Better still - hit the salon and treat yourself to a professional tan as this will ensure that your hot colour will do justice to your ultra-cool dress or skirt so you feel like a million bucks and look like a pretty princess…
Remember kids, an overdose of tanning substances makes you resemble a parquetry floor with your random shades of brown all over the place or the ‘Stabilo’ fluorescent orange highlighter analogy may be applied if it appears that you may have gone a little bit crazy and entered the orange-tanning-land …
| 30 |
| Vote |
Shared on
Subscribe to this blog
